now what?

for some reason i thought that having a sale would do something. it hasn't. well no, it has encouraged me. that the labor intensive work of creating knit things paid off. I'm no where near even on my financial adventure. but I am validated. I no longer feel silly trying to tell myself that this will work.

it did work. on one of my little gambles. after all, isn't that what they are? I buy the yarn and the tools necessary, sit back, think of something to create, something someone may want to pay money for. then i set to creating it. purchasing things to create pictures in my head, well that's a gamble too. what if my fingers and needles can't do what i see in there? what if the yarn can't do what i see in there? and then, if it gets to be finished, then posting it onto my site and waiting. like a fisherman with his worms. only he grew the worms, with quite a bit of time and thought.

and he put some lines out there. one got a bite. he grew the right worm, used the right line. and every single fish can only be caught with the right worm, the right line, the right time of day, the right lake.

this, this is why i don't grow tired. this is why i don't give up. i'm like a gambler. yes, none of these worked, but look how close I came. maybe the next one will be a lucky break.

wow. i understand fishing now.

i'm excited to have found something in which the promise isn't too far from the labor. I can see it. quite clearly. I'm excited to have found something that I can do.

I don't have a yard in which to grow things and sell them at market. I don't have animals to breed and sell at auction. but i have hands, and ideas and the internet. and I can work with my hands like people were meant to do.

i can still cook my whole chicken, although i can't deny the urge toraise my own, have them slaughtered and pluck them myself. i can still use fresh veggies and home made broth. even though the veggies aren't from my garden. I can still drink milk, even though it isn't from my cute little jersey cow. jersey cows are the cutest, by the way. they have big doe eyes and are very gentle and much more like a family pet than a barn yard beast.

I don't want to be industrialized, techonological, metalic, mechanic and factory made. i want to be human. by knitting, i am a little closer.